I have two awesomely unique kids. A boy age 8 and a girl 6 1/2. Emma has always been challenging and special. It has only been one year since we have had her formally diagnosed by Doctors as having Aspergers syndrome. That in no way helps the struggles she faces with the counselors and teachers at school. She is very intelligent and sometimes I cannot help thinking that it is a lack of patiencs to allow her to problem-solve that causes the conflict at schools.
Over the past few years I have jotted down some great notes that I call Emma stories. They are some of the great things that have made my friends and I laugh for weeks on end. In the next few weeks I am going to type them in here to share.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Interesting Week
Kindergarten was had a very bad year. Emma is educationally exceptional however her behavior can be challenging. She has difficulty understanding that she is responsible for her own actions. There have been funny examples of this, for example she will leave her toys out and then less then 10 minuets later she will trip over them and blame her brother or me for moving her toys in her way to hurt her. She has even blamed me when she needed to poo for choosing the food she ate before hand.
With 1st grade starting and Kindergarten being such a behavioral nightmare I felt that if Emma could get a couple of really good weeks under her belt then the habit of good behavior would be there and things would go smoothly for the whole year. She had even mentioned a couple of days before the first day of school that she knew that she was a bad girl last year and that she was going to try to be well behaved this year because she is in 1st grade and that is what 1st graders do. So I made a deal with her that I would get the new Tinker Bell movie for her if she got good behavior reports from the teacher for 10 days in a row. ........She pulled out 4. Then it started going down hill quickly. I just told her that we were going to start over however I do not know how they handled things at the school. After the 4th bad day in a row I suppose she got so upset that she told the teachers that ....she was going to kill herself... this set them off. They sent her directly to the school councilor who was trying to figure out what Emma was planning to do to kill herself.
Well with Aspies they use language that does not necessarily mean what you think it means. (Do you know what I mean?) Some things are to be taken literally and others are not. Instead of their untrained councilor trying to give Emma ideas on methods I wish they would have called me when it occurred. As soon as they let me know I did take Emma to her Psychologist and we came up with a much better and more appropriate phrase that everyone will relate to and will not freak and scare everyone. Instead of " I want to kill myself ... we say..... I am verrrrry angry"
I think my first mistake was making the goal for her unattainable. 10 days is way to long for someone who had not had 5 days in a row. I think my next goal for her was probably Nobel Peace Prize. So now I know make more attainable goals.
With 1st grade starting and Kindergarten being such a behavioral nightmare I felt that if Emma could get a couple of really good weeks under her belt then the habit of good behavior would be there and things would go smoothly for the whole year. She had even mentioned a couple of days before the first day of school that she knew that she was a bad girl last year and that she was going to try to be well behaved this year because she is in 1st grade and that is what 1st graders do. So I made a deal with her that I would get the new Tinker Bell movie for her if she got good behavior reports from the teacher for 10 days in a row. ........She pulled out 4. Then it started going down hill quickly. I just told her that we were going to start over however I do not know how they handled things at the school. After the 4th bad day in a row I suppose she got so upset that she told the teachers that ....she was going to kill herself... this set them off. They sent her directly to the school councilor who was trying to figure out what Emma was planning to do to kill herself.
Well with Aspies they use language that does not necessarily mean what you think it means. (Do you know what I mean?) Some things are to be taken literally and others are not. Instead of their untrained councilor trying to give Emma ideas on methods I wish they would have called me when it occurred. As soon as they let me know I did take Emma to her Psychologist and we came up with a much better and more appropriate phrase that everyone will relate to and will not freak and scare everyone. Instead of " I want to kill myself ... we say..... I am verrrrry angry"
I think my first mistake was making the goal for her unattainable. 10 days is way to long for someone who had not had 5 days in a row. I think my next goal for her was probably Nobel Peace Prize. So now I know make more attainable goals.
Monday, August 9, 2010
School is back in session
School is back in session!!! I feel like it is a bit earlier in the year than it should be however I am thankful for the break. We have had endless problems with Emma and her school. She is very intelligent however there is the behavior issue. I feel like I am in a constant battle to find a balance between teaching her to understand her emotions and teaching her that other people have the same the same emotions too. She ONLY wants to view the world from Emma's point of view. For Example if she leaves her shoes in the middle of the floor and then twenty mins. later, trips over them she will find a way to blame some one else. I have tried everything in my arsenal to help her to understand that she is responsible for her own actions. The message is simply not getting through. I would love to get some advice or stories from others who have similar problems.
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